Anger Management

Mahesh

 

My mother does not realize,

That pleasing 1001 gods,

Is not going to help,

Her BP or sugar,

Every single time there is a festive occasion,

Fat-laden foods in the name of prasadam,

I am not a big fan of all this,

On top of that fasting,

Rituals, decorations, and what not??

Which God demanded all this?

So many years of doing these rituals,

To what effect? To what joy??

Falling ill, making me worry to no end.

Not heeding to my warnings,

And all to what end,

Like one idiot I have to rush,

Hunting for medicines, looking for a specialist.

I am tired, I am sick and tired,

Of this repeated loop,

That I am stuck in.

How easy it would be,

To run away from all this.

A cross and a burden,

That is testing my patience,

Where is this God?

Who plays joke after joke after joke on me!

Where is He/She/Power/Energy/Light??

What blasted adjective should I use,

To describe this all powerful,

Omni-potent, all-knowing energy,

That seems to forever laugh at my antics,

As I falter again and again,

In trying to create some semblance,

Of sanity in this great gift called ‘Life’!

How long does one keep travelling,

In this tunnel, hoping to get,

One glimpse of light,

That seems to be at the next bend?

How long should I continue??

To be weighed down,

Morally, physically and mentally,

Because of decisions taken by others,

Which have ruined my dreams beyond repair!

 Depression, anger, blindness,

What word does one use,

What phrase does one create,

To represent this massive lie,

That I am being forced to lead??

I shall never find redemption.

This is the truth,

Till the end arrives,

Like a welcome release,

Continue to mock me,

Continue to blackmail me,

Continue to destroy my life.

Thank you dear family, relatives and well-wishers.

Thank you!!!

 

9 thoughts on “Anger Management”

  1. I wish I was a man of god. My answer would have been simpler. Leave it to her (god) and why loiter your thoughts oh ignorant lad, I would have said. But no. I aint a man of god. I’m not her favorite child. I don’t feel the warmth and love in her house that I once used to feel. As lovers, we’ve drifted apart. I’m a man of man these days. I connect better with blood and bones and the emotions that drives us and the sentiments that binds us.

    I thought the same as you dude. My mom, your mom.. meant to be friends. The words of the scientific wise go deaf to them. That’s ok. Each time I do realize a sweeter truth.

    Was pondering about it, before i stumbled upon your words. Here, my words to yours.

    When I was a kid, adamant I was. I’d bravely explore the strengths and push the boundaries of what a kid could endure. My ears were deaf to hers, like how my words are deaf to hers today. We’ve swapped roles you see. I’m the caring parent, and our parents are the braver kids. Set in their ways, they find their solace through sweat and broken backs and fatigue that they’ve never paused to talk about.

    Don’t deny them their soaring spirit. Don’t deny them their earned freedom. 🙂 bug enough to comply enough to keep the strength to continue their battles with fatigue. Never a great idea to constrict a little child’s mind 😉

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  3. Can feel the pain. But remember pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. We suffer only when we wish what is, isn’t. So my two penny – drop the expectation. The agony will cease. We all have to bear our crosses…no escaping that. You are an amazing guy…I send you a long distance hug and wish you much happiness and abundance! 🙂

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  4. Well written… it’s cathartic, writing… write like you do and live free… let it all out into the open, till it all disappears, the negative stuff… the universe will weave its magic for you

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