Loneliness and Old Age

Last year was tough,

This year is rougher,

How long will my employers,

Remain patient and stick with me?

Sick leaves and working from home,

Output not being up to the mark,

At work, I worry of Amma at home,

At home, I worry of work.

Like an endless loop,

Pain and turmoil,

Continue to envelope us.

As test after test,

Shows it scary results,

I say a prayer and work on.

Today, as she lay deep,

In drug-induced sleep,

I had a shooting pain,

Up my chest,

It started from the pit of my stomach,

Gushed up in a bile-filled rush.

I managed to rush into the toilet,

And let Nature, take its course.

There was no one to pat down my back,

Or help me with a drink of warm water.

As the pain shot up,

And I clutched my chest,

For a moment, I worried,

If I was having a cardiac arrest,

As life flashed by in a blurry haze,

I felt as if a burden had left my body.

I steadied myself and dipped my head,

Into a bucket of cold water.

This can’t end like this! Or will it?

The heartbeat came back to normal.

Came back to see mother restless in her sleep,

A frown on her lips.

Wonder what nightmare troubles her.

Just lay down and fell asleep…

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9 thoughts on “Loneliness and Old Age

  1. Makes for a sad reading. May God bless your mother with good health and bring cheer in your face.I will include her in my prayers.

  2. This too shall pass. Take care of yourself as you give loving care to your dear mother. And be at peace: this is a natural stage of our lives. Wishing you and your other well.

  3. Breaks my heart reading this. But won’t let myself be sad. I take a moment to find solace in the strength you show each time you smile. May that smile never fade.

    And in time, all you get is stronger and human.

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