In the last few months, the time that I have spent on various matrimonial websites is more than the time that I have spent on my official work-related emails and presentations. Some recent experiences captured in words here for your reading pleasure.
The Lady from Coimbatore
One day I received a call from a lady who introduced herself as the mother of a girl. She spoke for a while and gave a brief introduction about her daughter and said her daughter’s first marriage had been a disaster and ended in divorce. She was living with her now with her granddaughter. She asked me – “Sir, would you be interested in marrying my daughter? We have gone through your profile and my daughter likes your profile?” I was pleasantly surprised that someone actually liked my profile and said “Please share your daughter’s profile details.” The lady sent me her daughter’s profile and a picture that showed both the daughter and grand-daughter and another picture that was obviously a few years older. I immediately rang up my sister and informed all this. She said – “OK speak to them, let us see what they have in mind.” The lady also spoke to my sister and explained the details about her daughter’s first marriage to my sister.
Later that evening, the girl called and she spoke with me for a long time. She said how her first marriage had been a big failure and how her husband had borrowed Rs 25 lakhs for business which was never returned and how he abandoned her as soon as she got pregnant. Apparently, the man did not even come at the birth of his own daughter. They eventually divorced and all this trauma led to her father getting a heart attack and he passed away. The conversation then moved to work, likes and dislikes, food, etc..; and it seemed like some progress was happening and things may turn out fine. She then said – “Sir, this Sunday, we will have a video-call, I will introduce my daughter to you and we can interact with each other.” I said “OK” and was eagerly waiting for Sunday morning.
On Sunday, I was all set, and at the appointed time, we conversed via a WhatsApp video-call. The young child was eager to speak with me and showed all her prizes and medals in drawing, running, etc., she also showed some of her story books and the art-work that she had created. The child was so happy to share her achievements with a complete stranger and there was genuine happiness in the child’s eyes as she spoke with me. The girl’s mother and grandmother also spoke with me and everything seemed fine. The lady even asked if I would be able to shift to Coimbatore as changing schools for the child in these times would be a long and complicated process. I said I was perfectly fine with moving and had no problem. The conversation ended on the note that they would discuss with the lady’s elder sister living in Ireland, whose Coimbatore flat was where they were living; and they would call me in a day or two.
Monday went by, so did Tuesday, and Wednesday. I tried calling them. No response. They did not answer my sister’s calls either. I then just sent a message, stating “Let us know your interest so we can proceed further.” After a while a reply came – “Sorry, with your current salary, you will not be able to support the three of us, plus my daughter’s education is also there, with your existing salary and other liabilities, you cannot manage our expenses. Good luck.” My profile, clearly mentions my salary details, so I don’t know what was the need to make this statement as a reason for rejection. One never knows what is the expectation that women both young and middle-aged have in their mind. I hope she finds a match that will be able to fund her and her family’s expenses.
The Kumbakonam Broker
This man works as a vadhyar and also as a marriage-broker specializing in Iyer and Iyengar alliances. His number came to me from a former colleague and I spoke to him. The man is in his late fifties and asked a lot of questions. He finally ended saying – “Saar, oru 1 lakh per month salary irundha edhavadhu try pannalam, neenga vera almost 40 years old, romba kashtam sir, ponnu kedaikiradhu.”
So the search continues…