This morning, I think I had a moment of self-realization. As my train stuck at Basin Bridge Junction and the train showed no signs of moving for over 15 minutes, I lost my patience. I got down and to my horror discovered that an incoming local was stuck on the tracks as cracks had developed on the criss-cross track and a major accident had been averted. Trains were blocked and the stationmaster announced that all trains towards Central Station were delayed till they fixed the fault on the tracks. I joined over 300 hundred passengers who decided to walk the distance – the final frontier.
Inwardly, I cursed my luck, yet again I would be late, I called my manager, explained my problem and walked, muttering to myself on how the forces conspired to make me a ‘Late Latif’ yet again. As I walked on the tracks and the rough path, I realized I am well and truly old for this struggle. In some capacity or the other I have been working for over 16 years now. Be it supplying packed lunches to houses, delivering sweets and savouries during festivals, selling snacks in playgrounds, taking tution classes for kids, selling electronic goods in showrooms and finally an IT job for the last decade; I just seem to have burnt out my energies.
I felt like crying as I continued to walk on the tracks, I don’t know – my life seems to be on the cross-roads. The only reason why I am chained to a safe-job is the flat that is on my name. I have to pay the EMIs, I cannot just walk away. Over the past two years, there have been innumerable times when I just wanted to pack a bag with a few clothes and run away, run away from the madness that is within and the madness that surrounds me. Each time, I am forced to come back to reality and bite a bitter pill and continue the same monotonous tasks every day.
I am done – I am well and truly done this time!