My mother does not realize,
That pleasing 1001 gods,
Is not going to help,
Her BP or sugar,
Every single time there is a festive occasion,
Fat-laden foods in the name of prasadam,
I am not a big fan of all this,
On top of that fasting,
Rituals, decorations, and what not??
Which God demanded all this?
So many years of doing these rituals,
To what effect? To what joy??
Falling ill, making me worry to no end.
Not heeding to my warnings,
And all to what end,
Like one idiot I have to rush,
Hunting for medicines, looking for a specialist.
I am tired, I am sick and tired,
Of this repeated loop,
That I am stuck in.
How easy it would be,
To run away from all this.
A cross and a burden,
That is testing my patience,
Where is this God?
Who plays joke after joke after joke on me!
Where is He/She/Power/Energy/Light??
What blasted adjective should I use,
To describe this all powerful,
Omni-potent, all-knowing energy,
That seems to forever laugh at my antics,
As I falter again and again,
In trying to create some semblance,
Of sanity in this great gift called ‘Life’!
How long does one keep travelling,
In this tunnel, hoping to get,
One glimpse of light,
That seems to be at the next bend?
How long should I continue??
To be weighed down,
Morally, physically and mentally,
Because of decisions taken by others,
Which have ruined my dreams beyond repair!
Depression, anger, blindness,
What word does one use,
What phrase does one create,
To represent this massive lie,
That I am being forced to lead??
I shall never find redemption.
This is the truth,
Till the end arrives,
Like a welcome release,
Continue to mock me,
Continue to blackmail me,
Continue to destroy my life.
Thank you dear family, relatives and well-wishers.