Hospitals scare me,
For someone who,
Has spent a lot of time,
In hospitals being a patient,
And being patient and attending others,
Hospitals scare me!
There is a deep sense,
Of dread within me,
I cannot put a name,
Or an emotion,
To this morbid fear,
That haunts me.
I am in awe of doctors,
Learned women and men,
With their white coats,
Stethoscopes dangling down,
Nurses attired prim and proper,
Walking up and down!
I am not scared of injections,
Bitter medicines or surgeries,
It is just the realization,
That one by one,
All those who mattered to me,
Bid me goodbye in hospitals!
As Mum and I battle,
Ghosts from the past,
And the demons of the present,
I wake up in the middle,
Of the night, a cold sweat breaking out!
I walk up to the bed!
And look at Mum,
Lost in the drug-induced sleep,
And I see her rhythmic breathing,
And catch my breath,
Pinching myself to make sure,
Everything is fine.
I say a small prayer,
And lie down on the mattress,
On the floor, chanting an incantation,
Forcing myself to go to sleep again.
This continues every night.
At times, sleep evades me.
I just sit cross-legged,
Staring into space,
Looking at the night-lamp.
The inevitable is the truth,
Life is but a gift,
And death a chance for redemption.
As visions and dreams haunt me,
I just cannot seem to come to terms,
To the brutal truth,
That I will have to bid – “Good Bye”
I am scared that it will be yet another painful
Heart-wrenching visit to the hospital!
Dear God! My only prayer to you!
If such an event,
Is pre-destined and in my destiny,
Please be kind my Creator,
Let the end be painless and peaceful!
Prayers, prayers, prayers – My Lord!!
Dear Uncle Robbie, You are no longer, With us in person, But you shall always, Remain in our hearts, In our minds and thoughts.
Be it a man dressing up, As a middle-aged lady, Trying to save his marriage, From falling apart.
An English teacher inspiring, A room full of students. Inspiring a generation of kids, To puruse Literature.
The radio jockey in Vietnam, Cheering up soldiers, With witty one-liners, Ruffling up feathers, And raising laughter.
So many roles, So many characters, So many smiles, All reduced to tears!
Wherever you are now, I am sure you are, Safer and happier, And are no longer, A tormented soul.
Dear Uncle Robbie, Our prayers are there, In support and grace, For your family and friends.
Finally you have been set FREE! Take care my captain, For I know, Perhaps this too is a role, That you are playing out. Oh Captain! My dearest Captain!
Lines from “Dead Poets Society’ “We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race, and the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”
“No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.”
“We’re not laughing at you – we’re laughing near you.”
“There’s a time for daring and there’s a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.”
A genius who was too talented, a manic energy that radiated from him, a life full of worries and battles with himself, his inner demons and alcohol. Finally the mind caved in and he chose to end his life. Wherever he is I hope he has found solace. R.I.P. Robin Williams!